Will the real Grogar please stand up?
by bhut
Summary: It's been several months since the ending of the end, and everything is back to normal in Equestria, (though the country got a brand-new princess for a princess - Twilight Sparkle). Unfortunately for Discord...(and not just for him), the real Grogar has heard of Discord pretending to be him, and he is really angry about that. And the rel Grogar... doesn't mess around.


**Will the real Grogar please stand up?**

_Disclaimer: none of the characters here is mine, but all belong to Hasbro and etc._

The horizon was still cloudy, but the sun was already shining through them, and the day was already promising to be a good one, even if a bit chilly – it was autumn after all, the summer wrap-up was already done and Twilight Sparkle – now a fully-fledged alicorn princess and so on and so forth – was walking through the palatial garden, approaching her least favorite statue – QC, LT and CG, permanently petrified.

Well, maybe not entirely permanently, but the way that things went down at their final defeat it was as good that – no one was going to unpetrify them anytime soon, not even Twilight Sparkle herself…and that was saying something, (as Spike was fond of saying, sometimes).

Therefore, _why_ was princess Twilight Sparkle walking through the palatial garden, approaching her least favorite statue? She had no idea, though she had felt restless last night, (for all sorts of reasons), and had decided to walk around the palatial grounds this morning just to get herself into a proper shape for today's work.

…And then she walked onto the territory of the statue where the terrible trio were petrified and saw that someone was already sitting there – an elderly ram or goat, sitting on one of the garden's benches, and gazing contemplatingly at the trio in question. For a moment Twilight wondered for some reason if this wasn't Discord, back to his old-old tricks – and so she cast a spell that she had invented for just such a suspicion…and no, it wasn't Discord, just some venerable elder, relaxing himself on a bench, just in a position that was more typical of Lyra or Bon-Bon or of those mythical 'humans' that the couple really loved to talk about than in a normal poise, but who was Twilight Sparkle to judge?

(Yes, she was the princess of Equestria now, but not that sort of a princess, thank you very much!)

"Excuse me, sir," she said instead, "but can I help you?"

The ram – or rather, the Billy goat – turned around, saw her properly, and half-jumped half-fell off the bench, startled.

"I'm sorry ma'am – I mean, your Highness," he bleated, taking off his hat even as he got back onto the bench. "Please forgive this old goat his impudence. It's just that I actually am in Canterlot for the first time in a long while, and have chosen this spot to travel down the old memory lane, eh?" He frowned. "Uh, it's been a while since I've been here, and my memory isn't as good as it once was, but you're the princess Luna, right?"

"Actually, I'm princess Twilight Sparkle," Twilight Sparkle replied, doing her best regal voice. "I'm, uh, the new princess – the newest princess. Cadance is the new princess instead-" she paused and shook her head, trying to clear it: last night must've been really bad, she usually wasn't rambling like this.

"Princess Twilight Sparkle," the goat looked thoughtful, as his eyes grew misty. "I don't remember hearing about you when I was your age…" he shifted around, (breaking eye contact) and looked back at the statue. "So, what is the story behind this piece? Or is it just a conversation piece that you young folks are so fond of talking about?"

"No, those are actually the three villains that have tried to take over Equestria lately, with the Bewitching Bell," Twilight Sparkle said crossly; it has been a while since she talked to someone that old, and sadly, it showed. "Sir, you remember-?"

The old goat had a long coughing fit, then wiped his mouth with a handkerchief that he had pulled out of his vest, (he was actually dressed quite fashionably, by Manehatten's standards, anyhow), and turned back to Twilight Sparkle.

"Of course I remember!" he said bitterly. "One moment, here's I, and my younger friends, writing our book, the next moment everything goes to Tartarus! Old goats such as me, we don't forget it!" He shook his head. "So who are those miscreants, then?"

"Oh, they are Tirek, Chrysalis and Cozy Glow," Twilight Sparkle replied dismissively. "What kind of a book?"

"Pardon?"

"What kind of a book you and your friends were writing?" Twilight Sparkle elaborated. These days she was the Princess of Equestria rather than a librarian, but still, you know, old habits die-hard and all that.

"One of those beginners books, you know enter-your-noun for dummies," the old goat replied dismissively. "No interest for a princess, I wager. Plus, it's not a big deal, really – the book probably won't be known beyond Manehatten!"

"Nonsense!" Twilight Sparkle would not back down _now_. "All books are to be treasured and shared! Sir, the Canterlot royal library will be proud to hold your book!"

"Aw shucks," the goat looked as if he would have a breakdown. "This is mighty fine statement there, your Highness! I'll get you one of our books as soon as I can." He reached with one of his hooves for a walking staff next to him and stood up.

Rather like one of those mythical humans than a pony – or a goat, really.

"Sir," Twilight blinked, (she was sure that she had forgotten something – but what?). "Do you, by any chance, know of two Ponyville mares, Lyra and Bon-Bon? I mean – Sweetie Drops?"

"Sure do! Met them – I mean, they met me in Manehatten, when my house had a nasty case of ivy. Nasty thing, ivy! Not good for the bowels, not good for anything," the goat said crossly, "and those teeth of mine, they aren't as good as they were once! Fortunately, those lovely young mares were passing through the fair city of Manehatten and lend me some helping hooves!" The old goat's eyes grew misty once more. "And what interesting stories they told me about them humans and such, you know?"

"Mmm," Twilight nodded, in part because she had heard those stories back when she was living in Ponyville, and had her own opinion of them, and in part, because she noticed the emerald on the goat's walking stick. It was huge – the biggest, greenest, most emerald, well, emerald that Twilight Sparkle had ever seen! She could not have looked away from it.

"Yes, a walking stick is also very good for a goat like me," the stick's owner said brightly, with a much less elderly voice. "This human-style walking is wonderful for my old back, but you just cannot expect me to walk around with such a rack," he patted his horns, "unsupported?"

Twilight Sparkle said nothing – she was just staring at the emerald. She was also beginning to drool a bit in a most undignified way.

"Ah-ha," the goat continued calmly, "so I see that you've noticed my gem of power. In other circumstances – even now, I am tempted – I would have introduced it – and myself – to you very closely," the smile that the goat now had on his face was seriously perverted. "But alas, alas, priorities, priorities…" he shook his head mock-sadly. "Ah well, maybe in the future…"

He turned around and trotted over to the statue, still moving perfectly on just his hind legs.

"I don't know any of you," he told the petrified trio, "but you were clearly in the thick of it, so I shall start with you!" He walked over to the statue, and walked around several times, speaking words of magic all the while. When he finished and stamped his walking stick, ivy, vines, moss and other plants crawled over him and the evil trio, making them disappear – literally.

And then Twilight Sparkle fell down with a thump and flutter of wing feathers. This was how Spike, her number one assistant, (even now) found her, and immediately called out for medical help.

Things went downhill from there, and when the absent statue was noticed, (or rather – its' absence), it was too late.

It was too late for _many_ things, actually.

/ / /

_Meanwhile…_

The statue of the petrified trio lay on the ground. Actually, there was ground below it, and around it, and above it, for the statue was underground.

Actually, it was in an underground lair, complete with torches and prison cells, and manacles, and chains, and many other things, including the goat with the walking stick. And the emerald.

"Sir?" A pony stallion peeked into the chamber. "You're back? So soon?"

"Yes, young Poison Oak, I am," the goat looked at himself and removed some dust from his vest. "Met princess Twilight Sparkle, even! Most intriguing young lass, let me tell you! Barely older than you, actually!" The goat's eyes grew thoughtful. "And also-"

"The judges are listening to our hearing now, sir!" the stallion's voice grew decidedly enthusiastic. "This most blatant case of identity theft will not be slid by-!"

"Glad to hear it, youngster," the goat said equally brightly. "Keep me updated. Now if you'll excuse me-?"

"Sir-?"

"I need some me time, I'm afraid. Plausible deniability for you, you know-?"

"Of course sir, holler if you need me," the stallion nodded and left, closing the door behind him. The goat waited until his hoofsteps vanished in the distance and then took a deep breath. He walked over to the statue and whacked it hard with his stick. "Wake-up!" he shouted so loudly that the chamber shuddered from the sheer vocal volume! "Grogar, the one true lord of Tambelon, orders you three to awake!" And he whacked the statue again – hard.

The stone crumbled and shuttered, revealing the trio of villains from within.

"You!" Chrysalis opened her mouth, revealing her fangs, ready to spring into an attack.

The goat yawned and gestured. Three stout ropes formed out of roots burst out of the ground and slammed Chrysalis and her two companions into the opposite wall.

"So," the goat continued looking as cool as a cucumber. "You three were the ones who had used my bell, eh?"

There was a pause. "Ah, are you trying to fool us again, Discord?" Cozy Glow said carefully, eyeing the goat in a calculating way. "You know what they say-"

"Is this your final answer, young filly?" the goat's voice matched his smile – razor-thin and just as sharp.

"Cozy? I don't think that this is Discord anymore," Tirek replied instead.

"Absolutely not!" Chrysalis echoed, causing the two elder villains to pause and look at each other.

"…And to answer your question, sir," Chrysalis' own voice grown much more subdued and quiet, "yes, sort of? We kind of gotten our hooves on Grogar's Bewitching Bell-"

"_My_ Bewitching Bell, you young idiot!"

"So, you're the real Grogar, Mr. Real Grogar, sir?" Cozy's voice almost did not shake – almost. "Then why did Mr. Discord impersonate you? You do not look like the type-"

"You're a very cunning young filly," the goat – the real Grogar – told the Pegasus still bearing the same smile. Cozy Glow immediately fell silent. "Good girl," the goat – the real Grogar – patted her on the head, not even trying to pretend to be kind. "You!" he jabbed his walking stick at Chrysalis. "Continue!"

"About what?" Chrysalis was made of sterner stuff than Cozy was, possibly. "Discord, who was pretending to be you, sent us on a quest to retrieve it, which we did…and then yes, we kept it from him."

"Why?"

"Because," Tirek answered before Chrysalis could, "we decided to improvise and elaborate. Just because!"

The goat – the real Grogar – looked at Tirek, eye to eye. Considering that Tirek was still in his diminished state that was less impressive for him than it was for Tirek, perhaps. "Interesting," Grogar said finally. "I may or may not like you, but I see that Discord has done enough damage to you, to your companions, and most importantly, to _my_ good name. This I will not tolerate! I am Grogar! Lord and ruler of great Tambelon! And who does Discord think he is?"

This time there was silence, as no one else was stupid, naïve or brazen enough to answer this rhetorical question. "Thought so," Grogar – the real Grogar – said with a smug smile. "Now then!" he made a gesture, and more roots erupted from the ground, forming a pedestal that contained a single crystal plate and a single apple, (that looked really delicious to eat, even to Tirek).

"Now then," Grogar spoke to the apple, even as he twirled it around by its' stem. "Show me Discord!" he put it onto the plate and the apple began to roll, and a picture – not unlike one that would come from a crystal ball – began to appear. "Ah. Of course. That's convenient," the goat chortled nastily, even as he rubbed his forehooves, (still holding his walking stick under one of his armpits).

Sadly, due to their positions, as well as Grogar's location, the other villains in the chamber could not see whatever he was looking at, but that was all right. Sort of.

"Now, back to the three of you," the real Grogar turned to face the other - still subdued – villains. "I don't think that I know you, and I don't really like you, but you're a part of this story, thanks to that idiot who had forgotten his station in life, and so while he owes me something, most assuredly, and I will be enjoying getting my due from him, I owe you something to, I'm afraid."

There was a pause. The look on the real Grogar's face when he talked about getting his due from Discord had been truly frightening and so the other three were not too excited about the real Grogar owing them anything.

"Right-o," the real Grogar promptly ignored the other three. "Come along now!" He made a gesture, and the root ropes disentangled the other three from the wall, pulling them towards the real Grogar instead. "We're going back to Canterlot! Looks like I and dear Discord are about to have – a reunion!" And he laughed a very convincing evil laughter, one that made all the other villains, (such as the three here) be most certainly second best. At best.

And then root ropes pulled them down underground, (even more so), after the real Grogar and things got really dark and blurry for a while…

_TBC_


End file.
